HOW TO HELP A FRIEND WITH AN EATING DISORDER DO: Choose one person the individual trusts & respects — not a group Find a quiet & private place to talk Have the conversation when you are feeling calm — make sure you are not angry or frustrated with something else they may have done or said Think through your thoughts ahead of time — write down the reasons you are worried, including specific behaviors you have observed Be direct & honest. If you have heard the person throwing up, say so, rather than making vague statements such as, "You seem to be in the bathroom a long time." Stick with the subject at hand — if the person strays from talking about the eating problem offer to speak about the subject later but stay focused on your original topic State clearly that you are not trying to control the person's eating & that you respect one's right to make decisions Use "I" language that reflects your feelings. EXAMPLE: "I've noticed that you've lost a lot of weight. I care about you, & I am worried that you have an eating disorder. I hope that we can talk about it & that I can help you find a way to feel better." Focus on realistic goals such as getting them professional help & minimizing the influence the eating disorder has on your friendship DO NOT: Expect to "solve" your friend's eating disorder Monitor or check up on how much or how little your friend is eating or exercising — this usually makes the person with an eating disorder resentful & more secretive Use your friend's problem as a topic of gossip with other friends

For more information on this topic, visit:
http://www.something-fishy.org/
http://www.about-face.org/